embrace the awkwardness!

as much as I cry with Love Actually, when I am having "that kind of day", in fact, the perfect "romantic", and I would even say "good-feeling-movie", of all times for me would be Annie Hall.

why, I wonder, can I not put up with woodyan situations when it comes to my life?

it is as if I had been born for them to happen, or rather, as if i pushed each and every single event in my life so that they acquire that kind of color, a neurotic one.

but then, all of a sudden, when my life happens to stop and i decide to look around, i get scared and my movie-alike life is not so thrilling anymore.

i split myself in two, and from my second self i look at my woody self, at my woody life, with my woody friends, my woody conversations and woody moments and, as smart, refine, appealing, distortedly glamorous and fascinating as they seem on screen when woody and his selected crowd are acting them, they just look foreign, plain alien, to me.

it is as if fiction, when it came closer, became more surreal than in the movie theatre.

or as if we could not handle things that were meant to be, that seemed to good for us to be true.

as if we had to constantly be telling ourselves that we have to mercilessly embrace the awkwardness that surrounds us,

because awkwardness is just the most real, turned false in our wicked minds.